Sub Atomic Particles and Record Setting Cleaning

They can talk about how many pebbles are on the beach, fish in the sea, stars in the sky or grains of sand in the hour glass, but I say there are more little specks of unidentified stuff that ruin perfection than any of the above.

I spent the last week polishing the house to a high gloss in order to keep my first see, first offer record intact. I have sold the last three houses to the first person that looked at it, and I wanted to keep my record going. Considering the market here, I didn't think I had a chance. There are tons of open houses every weekend, with more thrown in during the week. Prices are remaining steady, instead of increasing every five minutes like they were when we bought, and interest rates have been rising. So, a buyer's market and I'm the seller.

But still, I was going to give it my very best shot, mostly because I wanted to sell this place and get on down the road.

So I scrubbed the sinks and counters until they were operating room clean. I polished all the faucets until they gleamed. Had the carpets cleaned. Recaulked the tubs. Dusted the ceiling fans. Mowed and trimmed the yard. Cleaned the fountain.
Did every single piece of laundry, ironed and emptied the washer, dryer, laundry room. Took down all light fixture globes and cleaned them.
Emptied the guest room closet, the hall closet and half of the master closet. Made my closet look like a magazine picture with all the hangers matching and lined up the same way, purses at attention on the shelf. Took every personal item off the bathroom counters. Bought some new towels and folded them into oragami like perfection.
Took all the appliances off the kitchen counter and replaced them with a big bowl of oranges. Bought 50.00 worth of flowers and made arrangements all over the house.
Washed the windows, inside and out.
CLEANED THE INDSIDE OF THE DISHWASHER FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE! Did you know it can get dirty? There's more, but I'm getting re-exhausted remembering it all.

And the more I polished, the more specks of matter appeared everywhere. Pieces of lint clinging to the ceiling fan blades. Pollen from the flowers drifting down in a circle around the vases. Pieces of unidentified greenery on the kitchen counter. Dust magically arising from the surface of a just shined mirror.

No wonder no one can committ a crime without leaving trace evidence behind. No matter how hard you try, these little specks of stuff cannot be eliminated. They turn up everywhere. The more you strive for perfection, the more they multiply.

This was on the micro side of the ledger. On the macro plane, there was another whole range of offenses. Shoes and more shoes left laying around the house. Cat paw prints on a bedspread that had just been made to quarter bouncing tautness. A blizzard of pine needles from the neighboring trees blanketing a freshly mown and raked yard. Bath tubs that must be cleaned after every use. Wiliting flowers that must be replaced. Perfection is a tyranical master.

Don't even think about trying to live in a house and keep it at this level of antiseptic all the time. Husband asked me the other day if we still had a toaster. Of course we do! It's just put away where the sight of it won't offend the model home concept. And for the love of pete, don't get any crumbs anywhere!!!

Thank goodness, to my sheer delight and wonderment, the first person who looked at the place made an offer! If the universe sees fit, we close at the end of the month.

Now go and eat all the toast you want, darling. My record's intact.